Thoughts On Departing From This Life

n the body I lie on the earth, but my spirit aspires to behold the Lord in glory. Though 1 am very sinful the Lord suffered me to know Him by the Holy Spirit, and my soul knows Him, knows how immeasurably merciful He is, and how joyous.

Until the coming of God's grace the soul fears death. She fears God Himself, because she does not know how humble and meek and merciful He is. And there is no man can apprehend the love of Christ if he has not tasted of the grace of the Holy Spirit.
Beloved brethren in the Lord, the merciful Lord is my soul's witness that 1 write of the truth. And know, brethren-let no one deceive himself he who does not love his brother does not love God either. The Scriptures speak justly concerning this: fulfil them word for word and you will behold in your own souls the mercy of the Lord, which will take captive the soul, for sweet is the Lord's grace.

The young man seeks a bride for himself and the maiden looks for a bridegroom. This is the earthly order of life, blessed by God. But the soul chosen of the Lord for Himself, the soul He suffers to taste of the sweetness of the love of God, does not set earthly life on a par with the love of God but is absorbed in God alone, and attaches herself to no earthly thing. And if earthly thoughts come to her she takes no delight in them, for she cannot love the things of this earth: all her longing is for the things of heaven.

In death the soul that has come to know the love of God by the Holy Spirit experiences a measure of dread when the Angels bring her before the Lord, since while living in the world she was guilty of sin. But when the soul beholds the Lord she rejoices in His meek and merciful Countenance, and the Lord in the abundance of His gentleness and love remembereth not her sins. One glance at the Lord, and the love of Him will take up its abode in the soul, and from love of God and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit she will be all transformed.

Our fathers have passed from earth to heaven. What do they do there? They dwell in the love of God and contemplate the beauty of His countenance. The beauty of the Lord enthrals every soul in joy and love. This beauty is made known on earth too, but in part only, for our frail bodies are not able to bear perfect love. On earth the Lord gives the soul as much as she may contain, and as much as His loving-kindness wills.

My soul is nigh unto death and longs with a great longing to behold the Lord and be with Him for ever. The Lord has forgiven me my manifold sins, and by the Holy Spirit has suffered me to know how greatly He loves mankind.

All heaven is in wonder at the Lord's Incarnation - how the Mighty Lord came down to save us sinners, and by His sufferings won for us eternal rest; and the soul has no wish to think on any earthly thing, but is drawn thither where the Lord is.

Dear to the heart are the words of the Lord when the Holy Spirit gives understanding to the soul. A multitude of people followed after Him when He lived on earth, and for many days they were unable to tear themselves from Him but, hungry, listened to His sweet words. The soul loves the Lord, and everything that hinders her from thinking of God makes her sad. And if the soul so deeply delights here on earth in the Holy Spirit, how much more it will delight there in the other world!
0 Lord, how Thou hast loved Thy creature! Thy soft, gentle gaze the soul can never forget. My soul, O Lord, is busy day and night with Thee, and I seek Thee. Thy Spirit draws me to seek Thee, and the remembrance of Thee makes glad my mind. My soul came to love Thee, and rejoices that Thou art my God and my Lord, and I yearn after Thee until my heart is filled with tears. And though all in the world be beautiful no earthly thing can occupy my thoughts: my soul desires only the Lord. There is naught on earth can satisfy the soul that has come to know God: she longs continually for the Lord, and cries: 'My soul yearns after Thee, and I seek Thee with tears.'

The soul from love of the Lord has lost her wits: she sits in silence, with no wish to speak, and looks upon the world with amazed eyes, having no desire for it and seeing it not. And people do not know that she is contemplating her beloved Lord, that the world has been left behind and is forgotten, for there is no sweetness therein.

Thus is it with the soul that has come to know the sweetness of the Holy Spirit.
O Lord give to us this love throughout Thine whole universe. 0 Holy Spirit live in our souls, that with one accord we may all glorify the Creator, Father, Son and Holy
Spirit.

From: Wisdom From Mount Athos - The Writings of Staretz Silouan 1866-1938, St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, Crestwood, NY 2001